If Necrofear has failed to tag your character so far
Entirely Sensible Reasons to Detest Muffin
* Willful misdirection when asked to supply name of reliable babysitter
* Failure to accept nametag like a good Haou
* Uncompensated damage to typewriter +
* Failure to address her betters with proper respect ++++&c.
* Unrepentant, inappropriate level of glee taken in dispatching of robot impostor
* Unrepentant, unprovoked murder of the great and glorious Lady Dark Necrofear +
* Unjustifiably sadistic foot-crushing
* Failure to cooperate with appropriately retaliatory foot-crushing
* Unfair darkness powers
* Unfair armor
* Failure to read all notes sailed to her ++
* Failure to let co-dependent relationship implode and force her into a spiral of despair
* Failure to take bait and instigate physical hostilities +
* Devious cozying up to impressionable toddlers
* Cruel wracking of responsible mother's nerves
On the twelfth day of Christmas, 
shinymetalboots sent to me...
shinymetalboots sent to me...Twelve nicknames self-publishing
Eleven presents touch-typing
Ten compliments a-delegating
Nine adverbs complaining
Eight shenanigans ogling
Seven beverages a-spelling
Six nametags a-lounging
Five ba-a-a-are chests
Four spirit boards
Three eye lasers
Two not cats
...and a medicine in an absolute monarchy.
( The second one seems a fine idea, at least. )
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blacklandygo are also welcome!#FF1493 |
Your dominant hues are red and magenta. You love doing your own thing and going on your own adventures, but there are close friends you know you just can't leave behind. You can influence others on days when you're patient, but most times you just want to go out, have fun, and do your own thing. Your saturation level is high - you get into life and have a strong personality. Everyone you meet will either love you or hate you - either way, your goal is to get them to change the world with you. You are very hard working and don't have much patience for people without your initiative. Your outlook on life is very bright. You are sunny and optimistic about life and others find it very encouraging, but remember to tone it down if you sense irritation. |
This certainly hasn't come close to enumerating all my fine personal qualities, of course, but the hue does rather fit my personal aesthetic.
Italicize the ones that are "kind of" true.
( Some of us aren't human, you know. )
THE ELDERLY UNCLES' UTOPIAN RETIREMENT FARM
Are you an elderly, doddering, alcoholic uncle? Have you gone to such insane lengths for the sake of your kingdom that you are now exhausted and unable to cope with daily life in your royal court? Do you perhaps have a dark secret or two that you might enjoy sharing with other elderly, doddering, alcoholic uncles over a game of checkers by a roaring fire?
If you've answered "yes" to at least two of these questions, The Elderly Uncles' Utopian Retirement Farm is exactly the right place for you! Unlike most farms, which reek of poverty and manual labor, our magical getaway is a true paradise for the truly deserving. Amenities include a full-service spa, spacious private quarters, unlimited feasting and drinking with like-minded company, and free delivery of postcards to favored nephews.
Customer satisfaction is guaranteed! Fully 100% of all uncles who have come to us over the years haven't even considered going home again!
Enjoy absolute peace and quiet! Never worry or want for anything ever again! Get as sloppily drunk as you like--our expert staff will ensure that you never pass out in a fountain or otherwise lose your dignity!
ONCE YOU ARRIVE, YOU'LL NEVER WANT TO LEAVE!
I am writing to express my displeasure with a publication of yours containing an unauthorized use of my admirable and alluring image. Ordinarily I would be flattered by this sort of thing, but your numerous inaccuracies and lackluster writing have quite spoiled my enjoyment. Therefore, I'm certain that you'll be appropriately grateful for my enumerating your errors here and providing suggestions for correcting them.
( Your porn is not up to code. )
( She's probably still missing a couple. )
Absolute Monarchy and You: A Guide to Better Living Through Autocracy
Absolute monarchy has much more to offer than just pomp, circumstance, and a unifying sense of tradition. How much more, you ask? Read on for important answers that could change your life!
( Yes, even YOUR life! )
DARK NECROFEAR'S OCCULT SERVICES EMPORIUM
Fortunes divined1! Spirits consulted! Deals with demons brokered! Hideous curses visited upon enemies2!
Professional and discreet. Over three thousand years' experience in the field.
Fun for the whole family!
Customer assumes all risks and benefits of interactions supernatural and otherwise. All payments required in advance. No refunds under any circumstances. Management assumes no responsibility for recalcitrance of spirit world. Customers requiring the services of the Ouija Board must abide by additional terms of service.
1BYO entrails for extispicy.
2The customer is responsible for delivering enemies and making them hold still.
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shinymetalboots- Dark Necrofear
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